A CUP OF COFFEE

by RAIN FLOWERS
(SAVANNAH GA)

HELLO MY NAME IS RAIN AND I AM FAIRLY NEW TO GA. I THOUGHT MEETING PEOPLE HERE WOULD HELP ME ADJUST TO MY NEW SURROUNDINGS.

AFTER TALKING TO A FEW MEN 1.ON THE PHONE 2 IN PERSON 3 ON THE NET, I INVITED COMPANY OVER FOR A CUP OF COFFEE. WELL IT HAS NOT GONE WELL.

ONE MAN ASKED, HEY BABY WHAT'S FOR DINNER? ONE MAN STARTED TO UNDRESS SAYING YEAH BABY I,D DO YOU. AND ONE MAN SAID OK LET ME RUN TO THE STORE AND I,LL BE BACK TO SPEND THE NIGHT.

WHAT HAPPENED TO COMING TO A LADIES HOME, HAVING A CUP OF COFFEE AND TALKING? WHERE ARE THE TRUE GENTLEMEN IN THE WORLD? THE GENTLEMEN THAT COME WITH FLOWERS AND NOT EXPECT ANYTHING BUT A CUP OF COFFEE? ARE THERE ANY MEN LIKE THAT STILL OUT THERE HERE IN GA?

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Apr 26, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		LAST PART OF THE STORY
by: RAIN

THANKS ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR WORDS. WOW STRANGE HOW YOU DID NOT READ MINE. I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SEX BEING AN ISSUE. MY AGE,RESPECT FOR MYSELF.WHERE I WAS BORN AND HOW I WAS RAISED CAME IN QUESTION.THEN THE BODY LANGUAGE,MY FAVORITE ONE SHOULD THERE HAVE BEEN AN EXCHANGED OF MONEY SOMEWHERE IN THERE.MAKING A JUDGEMENT CALL WITHOUT KNOWING ALL THE FACTS OR ASKING QUESTIONS TO CLEAR ANY UNKNOWN INFORMATION IS A GOOD IDEA.

THE MAN THAT ASKED WHATS FOR DINNER,WE TALKED WHILE SHOPPING.THE PASTOR TO THE CHURCH AND HELP CENTER THAT I JUST STATED SPENDING MY TIME AT.HE WAS NICE ENOUGH TO HELP ME HOME WITH THE FOOD I JUST PURCHASED 2PM .THAT WAS THE JOKE BECAUSE HE SAW WHAT I HAD IN THE BAGS.

I NEVER SAID I WAS HOME ALONE WITH ANY OF THE MEN.
I NEVER SAID I WAS IN DANGER. WHAT ABOUT WHEN JESUS CAME TO THE DOOR AND WAS SENT AWAY? ANYBODY REMEMBER THAT STORY? I THANK YOU FOR ASKING WAS I ALRIGHT.(DID NOT) I TRUST IN THE LORD. I WAS BORN UP NORTH.
IM OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT IM DOING. I DO SEEK KNOWLEDGE AND ASK QUESTIONS. MAYBE MORE PEOPLE SHOULD DO THAT TOO BEFORE MAKING A JUDGEMENT CALL .THE UNKNOWN FACTOR IS A B--CH,THINK ABOUT IT. TRY NOT TO BE SO NEGATIVE ABOUT SOMETHING SO INNOCENT. IF I CAN GET JUST ONE PERSON TO THINK BEFORE THEY REACT. THEN MAYBE MORE POSITIVE THINKING ABOUT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CAN BE SPREAD
IT CAN HAPPEN,LOOK I NOW HAVE YOU THINKING LOL.
Apr 24, 2012
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starstar 		THOSE DAYS ARE GONE..
by: A.A.AMEN-RA

I COME IN PEACE..

I KNOW I HAD TO LEARN SOME HARD LESSONS ALONG THE ROAD OF THIS LIFE. SOME MEN'S HEADS ARE IN THE WRONG PLACE, AS SOME WOMEN TEND NOT TO "THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX" EITHER. ALTHOUGH THE INVITATION MAY HAVE BEEN INNOCENT IN NATURE, THE REALITY IS THAT ALOT OF THOSE MEN HAVE BEEN INVITED BY OTHER WOMEN TO THEIR HOMES FOR A ROMP UNDER THE SHEETS UNDER GUISE OF COMING BY FOR DINNER, A GAME OF SCRABBLE OR A CUP OF COFFEE.

NOWAWAYS, IT'S MUCH SAFER AND SMARTER TO OPT FOR A CUP OF COFFEE AT A LOCAL DINER OR COFFEE SHOP AS OPPOSED TO HAVING THEM COME BY YOUR HOME. YOU MAY GET YOURSELF OVERPOWERED BY SOMEONE NOT WILLING TO TAKE "NO" FOR AN ANSWER. YET SOME WOMEN THINK "OH, THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN TO ME." NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM AT SOME HOSPITAL BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN EITHER BEATEN OR RAPED & SODEMIZED IN "YOUR OWN HOME" OVER AN INVITE FOR A CUP OF COFFEE. RENT THE TYLER PERRY MOVIE "FOR COLORED GIRLS" AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN. SHE THOUGHT SHE "KNEW HIM" WELL ENOUGH TO INVITE HIM TO HER HOME FOR DINNER, AND SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO HER.

I SUGGEST, I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT YOU EXERCISE A BIT MORE CAUTION FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, SENSE OF SELF AND SECURITY.

GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE MORE BY SITTING AT A TABLE ACROSS FROM ONE ANOTHER. GET TO LOOK AT BODY LANGUAGE AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. WATCH HOW THEY EAT AND IF THEY DISPLAY APPROPRIATE TABLE MANNERS OR NOT.

NOT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME, AND NEITHER IS IT LIKE THAT FOR ALL WOMEN. AND AS FOR A MAN SHOWING UP WITH FLOWERS..FOR COFFEE? THOSE DAYS ARE GONE! NORMALLY IF A MAN BRINGS A WOMAN FLOWERS THAT MEANT HE'S INTERESTED IN COURTING YOU. YOU KNOW, GOING BEYOND THE "FRIENDSHIP" THING, OR YOU'RE ALREADY HIS WOMAN OR HIS WIFE. BUT NOWADAYS, IF HE DOES SHOW UP WITH FLOWERS, BABY IT AINT FOR NO COFFEE, IT'S FOR THE DESERT HE'S LED TO BE EXPECTING TO GET FROM YOU! BE SAFE..

PEACE
Apr 23, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Setting Oneself Up for Un Warranty Advances
by: Renenet Sekhmet

Thank you Queen Mother for your comment. No one could have explained better.
Apr 23, 2012
Rating
starstar 		Setting Oneself Up for Un Warranty Advances
by: Margrett Dawson Wallace

As we present ourselves as "Ladies", we must always be careful as to how we are seen to others. I have often shared with my students,even when we dance, we have to be careful in the movement of our body...for how we dance on the dance floor tells and depicts a story of our lifestyle. The way we dress, talk, must be kept above reproach when we are in the public, at work, shopping or attending social functions, to name a few. We, sometimes, let our guard down with others before we know them and their hidden adgendas/intentions. Men will be men and tend to respect ladies/women that respect themselves. They will not make advances if we don't allow them to. You must always be prepared to protect your respect for yourself and him.

I respect what you shared,and I am wondering if it could not have been handle differently. First of all, I am concerned about how you are left to feel that all men in "Georgia" are "no gentlemen". That maybe the way you feel at the present. I would hope that you will find it possible not to feel that way about our Nubian Kings in Georgia. May I suggest that you will use more tactful ways of meeting men. Know who and what you are looking for in an acquaintance and/or relationship of the opposite sex.If you aren't clear on who you are inviting into your home, you may be shocked as to who/what is willing to have a "cup of coffee" with you. Talking over the phone, meeting in shopping areas, etc. is not enough to really get to know someone enough to invite them into the privacy of your home...be careful.

As an older woman to my younger woman, may I suggest that you read and be enlighten on what I have shared in articles on Your-Inner-Voice.Com...

I invite you to start here: Love is not taught!

"Never to live this life again"...
Apr 23, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		A CUP OF COFFEE
by: Renenet

Where I come from up north, we don't invite the opposite sex to our homes for coffee. There are too many coffee shops to meet to have coffee and say "thank you". An invitation to ones home usually sends to wrong message as you wrote. It seems to me YOU DON'T GET IT; however, I'm sure others do... and that's what really counts here at your-inner-voice.
Apr 23, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		DETAILS
by: RAIN

I DO KNOW I LEFT OUT SOME DETAILS. I WAS DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE I WAS NETWORKING FOR THE MOVE TO GA SO I WAS TALKING TO THIS MAN FOR OVER 5 MONTHS
THE INVITE WAS A THANK YOU FOR THE HELP WITH THE INFORMATION REGARDING THE MOVE TO GA. THE NEXT MAN AND I SHOP AT THE SAME MARKET EVERY WEEK SINCE I ARRIVED HERE OVER 4 MONTHS. I ALSO TALKED TO THE MAN ON THE PHONE FOR OVER A YEAR WITH NO MENTION OF ANYTHING BUT FRIENDSHIP. SO NOW WHAT? IT WAS AND STILL IS JUST A CUP OF COFFEE. YOU ARE AS BAD AS THE MEN. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR PANTS.
Apr 23, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		A CUP OF COFFEE
by: Renenet Sekhmet

My heartaches for you because I can’t believe you went there. Why would you invite a man (men) over to your home without knowing him unless you weren’t inviting the men; sub-consciously may be it was their male organ you were inviting. From what you’ve written, I’m sure the men thought the same way.

Is it really the male organ you miss, male companionship or a balanced male consciousness? You should try to meet men while you’re doing something productive, something you like to do. May be you’ll find someone who’ll bring you flowers while both of you are being productive doing something both of you like to do. It beats sending out the wrong message that an invitation to your home gives. Look for “Love yourself” under the Blog which I’ll write with you in mind.

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